A Chaotic or Disaster Bisexual is defined in a variety of ways. They could give off so much chaotic energy, that without knowing anything else about them you could correctly guess that they’re bi. They can also be defined by their awkwardness when it comes to flirting and expressing their feelings. Despite being attracted to a wide variety of people, the Chaotic Bisexual is a hot mess above all else.
While some may see this term as an insult or an essentialization of an entire sexuality, many embrace this title with open arms. Identifying as a Chaotic Bisexual allows us to embrace the flaws that make us human and not take ourselves so seriously. Bi people have to deal with so many misunderstandings both within and outside of the queer community – we’re not queer enough for some, too queer for others – and this term gives us a chance to form community on our own terms.
As someone who grew up in a conservative area and has struggled to accept my own bi identity, being able to watch bi characters on TV as an adult who are just as, if not more, chaotic than I am has been an important step in my journey of acceptance. If these characters can be messy and imperfect, then why can’t I?
To celebrate Pride month, and my own personal journey as a Chaotic Bisexual, here are some of the best Chaotic Bisexual characters on TV.
Jaskier – The Witcher
Even before Jaskier’s bisexuality was officially confirmed in season 3 of The Witcher, the Continent’s favorite bard has been exuding chaotic energy from the moment we met him. He invites himself to join Geralt (Henry Cavill) on his quests in season 1, despite Geralt’s initial “please leave me alone” energy. After Geralt essentially tells him to fuck off (for real this time), Jaskier performs “Burn Butcher Burn” with the same energy as Taylor Swift recording the 10 minute version of “All Too Well.” Jaskier tries to deny that this is a breakup song about Geralt, but it’s absolutely a breakup song about Geralt, and no one can convince me otherwise. But despite his chaotic energy and slight ego, Jaskier really does try his best to do the right thing. He becomes the Sandpiper to help elves flee persecution in the north and he risks his life to protect Ciri throughout season 3.
Rob – High Fidelity (2020)
Zoë Kravitz’ Rob in Hulu’s unfortunately short-lived High Fidelity series is the epitome of bisexual disaster energy. She willingly reaches out to all of her exes to see what she did wrong in the relationship, she shares more of her real emotions to strangers in the audience through fourth wall breaks than she does to her friends, and she self-sabotages a potentially worthwhile relationship because she doesn’t think she deserves happiness. Rob is the epitome of a hot mess, but at her core she just wants to be loved – which is something I think we all can relate to.
Eleanor Shellstrop – The Good Place
One of my favorite things about Eleanor (Kristen Bell) from The Good Place is that the show never makes a big deal out of her sexuality. She never comes out to anyone, she just simply exists as she is. She flirts with Chidi (William Jackson Harper), Jason (Manny Jacinto), Tahani (Jameela Jamil), and even Janet (D’Arcy Carden) sometimes, but nobody makes her feel weird about it. Eleanor struggles with a lot of things throughout the series – learning how to become a better person, expressing her feelings to Chidi, making the afterlife a better place for everyone – but her own sexuality isn’t one of them.
Luz Noceda – The Owl House
The Owl House may be marketed primarily as a “kids” show, but it is truly one of the most emotional and well-written animated series that I’ve seen. The show features many openly queer characters, not just one token character who has a brief kiss with a person of the same gender. The show does such a great job with all of its queer characters, but the series’ resident chaotic bi queen Luz Noceda (Sarah-Nicole Robles) is one of the series’ best.
During her journey to the Demon Realm, Luz goes on adventures, stops a fascist ruler from killing everyone, and finds love with the young witch Amity Blight (Mae Whitman) in the process. The two start off hating each other, but as they get to know one another they are both incredibly awkward around one another as crushes and feelings start to form. In fact, it takes the titular Owl House’s protector and sentient owl demon Hooty (Alex Hirsch) fabricating the world’s cheesiest tunnel of love for the two to finally ask each other out. Luz is the kind of character I wish I could have watched as a kid, but knowing that she’s out there for other bi people to connect with is enough.
Rosa Diaz – Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Even before she came out as bi on the show, Rosa Diaz (Stephanie Beatriz) was one of my favorite characters on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She may be intimidating to most, but she’s also fiercely loyal and protective of those she cares about. Rosa came out as bi around the same time I came out to my parents, and while I didn’t have to worry as much as she did about whether or not they would accept me as I am, it made me feel less alone. Watching someone so strong and tough struggle with the same fears and doubts I had helped me feel more confident in embracing my true self.
Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy – Harley Quinn
Between hooking up for the first time while Ivy (Lake Bell) was engaged to Kite Man (Matt Oberg) and turning Gotham into a giant orgy on their first Valentine’s Day together, Harley (Kaley Cuoco) and Ivy’s relationship in Harley Quinn is the definition of chaotic, but it also shows that chaos doesn’t have to be unhealthy. Even though they often find themselves in strange predicaments and don’t always agree on how to approach situations, they find ways to communicate with each other and come out of conflict stronger than ever.
Kitty Song Covey – XO, Kitty
Like The Owl House, XO, Kitty is a show that I wish I could have watched as a confused bi youth. Kitty (Anna Cathcart) leaves her life in the U.S. behind to attend the Korean boarding school her mother went to so that she can hopefully learn more about what her mom was like before she died and so that she can surprise her long-distance boyfriend Dae (Choi Min-Young). The thing is, when she arrives, she discovers that Dae is in a fake relationship with Yuri (Gia Kim), the daughter of a hotel mogul who is desperately trying to hide her queerness from her parents.
But even though this relationship drama absolutely qualifies Kitty as chaotic, it isn’t the reason she’s on this list. During her time in Korea, Kitty discovers that she has feelings for Yuri – the first time she’s had feelings for another girl. Kitty panics when she realizes she might be queer, not because she believes there’s something wrong with it, but because these feelings are new and overwhelming. She hasn’t explicitly labeled her sexuality as bi yet, and it’s okay if she doesn’t. Being able to watch a teen character go through an emotional journey that took me years to process and be able to express to others is such an important step in the right direction for bi and queer representation. Kitty’s queerness is never treated as something to be ashamed of, instead it’s treated as just a normal part of growing up. Hopefully her journey helps other queer youth trust in their feelings and embrace their true selves early on without spending years of their adult lives confused and alone.
Beckett Mariner – Star Trek: Lower Decks
Ensign Beckett Mariner (Tawny Newsome) is one of my favorite Star Trek characters, period. She struggles with the expectations of her successful parents, often bending Starfleet rules and regulations to both help others and have a good time. She sometimes acts aloof when it comes to her close relationships, but like with her parents, it’s because she’s scared that people won’t accept her for who she is, chaos and all. Beckett is one of the smartest and most loyal members of the Lower Decks crew, and like everything else about her, her bisexuality is just a part of who she is. I know there are arguments to be made about pop-culture juggernauts trying to get away with the bare minimum of queer representation (like the brief kiss in Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker), but to me, this isn’t that. There’s something to be said for queer characters being able to just exist without a big deal being made about their queerness.
Sarah Lance – Arrowverse
As someone who grew up on superhero shows and movies, watching the Arrowverse canonize and embrace Sarah Lance’s (Caity Lotz) bisexuality meant the world to me, even before I was able to fully embrace that identity for myself. Sarah isn’t perfect by any means – she became the Canary because she decided to hook up with Oliver (Stephen Amell), who was her sister’s boyfriend at the time, on the Queen’s Gambit and had to join the League of Assassins to survive the shipwreck – but she’s done a lot to become a better person and the hero/leader that the Legends deserve. While there are some parts of Sarah’s story that could have been handled better, she proves that chaotic bisexuals can be badass, heroic, and legendary.
Loki – Loki
Last, but certainly not least is the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most beloved trickster. Loki (Tom Hiddleston) has long been one of the most chaotic characters in the MCU, but it wasn’t until the first season of Loki that his bisexuality was finally canonized. Not only was it revealed in the show that Loki has been involved both with “would-be-princesses” and “princes,” but in perhaps the most chaotic move of all, Loki develops feelings for Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino), who is a Loki variant from another timeline. Because nothing quite screams chaotic bisexual like being so awkward with romantic relationships that the first person you truly fall for is a version of yourself.