If further proof were required that gameshow The Traitors isn’t made by a TV production company but by a cabal of supervillains plotting inside a hollowed-out mountain, the show’s release schedule would be it. It’s been designed to disorient and weaken our senses – the TV equivalent of being spun around in a hall of mirrors. Ask anybody when the next episode of The Traitors is on and they won’t be able to tell you. Wednesdays, yes. Thursdays, I think so. Fridays, yeah. Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday? No, but also… maybe?
It didn’t help that the first episode of series three aired on January 1, at a time of year when the names of weekdays sink underneath the festive slush and leave us navigating the passing of time only by the increasing honk of Dad’s Special Cheese. (Still able to get the milk out of the fridge without gagging? It’ll be Boxing Day. Can only approach said fridge with a novelty Rudolph tea towel blocking your smell and taste holes? Probably time to go back to work now.)
Immediately after episode one aired, episode two was made available to stream early on BBC iPlayer – a common ploy used by drug dealers to get customers hooked. That left those of us weak enough to submit strung out and going cold turkey the following night. Then Friday came, and with it, episode three, after which… nothing. For FOUR DAYS.
When was the last time you had to wait for something you actually wanted? GP appointments, Avanti West Coast trains and Glastonbury tickets aside, nobody waits for stuff anymore. The modern internet has made open-beaked baby birds of us all. With fluttery wings and gaping mouths, we demand a constant slurry of mashed-up caterpillar to be glooped straight into our gullets. Verify the transaction and the gloop keeps coming. Uber Eats, Tesco Whoosh, Amazon, Deliveroo…
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Being made to wait for television feels even more outdated. For years, the streaming model has taken months’ – sometimes years’ – worth of people’s careful creative work, loaded it onto the back of a tipper lorry and then in one go, slid it all into a massive quarry and watched it disappear. It’s been terrible for the industry but great for the baby bird viewers. So much gloop! No waiting.
And now: waiting. The Traitors insists on it, because the BBC knows that waiting is all part of the fun. Not because each episode of The Traitors is as richly flavoured as an episode of the also weekly-released Wolf Hall and needs time to steep and infuse, but because delaying gratification is a game and The Traitors is a gameplayer extraordinaire. With a glint in its eye to rival Claudia Winkleman‘s, it wants its audience on our toes, twitching and guessing. Generously, it’ll deliver three episodes over three consecutive nights to lull us into the false security of a routine, and then snatch the 9pm slot away for Casualty and Silent Witness for the next half a week. It’s toying with us, keeping us in Trait-icipation, just like its castle-based contestants. Barring surprises, here’s what we know:
When is The Traitors Next On BBC One?
Episode six – 9pm, Friday January 10
Episode seven – 9 pm, Wednesday January 1
Episode eight – 9pm, Thursday January 16
Episode nine – 9pm, Friday January 17
And presumably (but as-yet unconfirmed)
Episode 10 – 9pm, Wednesday January 22
Episode 11 – 9pm, Thursday January 23
Episode 12 – 9pm, Friday January 24
The Traitors series three airs on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.